he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you would pick up someone in the library
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
