Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize