i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
