Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
