Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
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