It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
