a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
