we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
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he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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