That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
