He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
