Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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