What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
