Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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