HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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