Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
