Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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