she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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