what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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