On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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