Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
