Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
