Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
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Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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