his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
