Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
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i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
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Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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