Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
