Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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