every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
