the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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