your room smells of hookers.
And success
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize