He disabled his match.com account in front of me
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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