His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
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Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
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His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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