I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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