your parents love me but you hate me
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
