were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
