I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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