dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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