...so i touched it.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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