How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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