Swine flu. Run for my life!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize