YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it