i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
