hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize