I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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