Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
