So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
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she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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