But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
