i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize