1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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