My underwear smells like fireworks.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize
