we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
