take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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