If i come over, it means nothing
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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