The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Is Oprah even human
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
