I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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