He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
