Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
