Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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