i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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