While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize