Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
