id be glad to
i think my mom watched the whole time
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
