so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Two words: nipple clamps
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