well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Randomize
