Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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