My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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