You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
